I remember too

I remember too

This happened to me. A friend of mine was over and saw a wolf spider in my room. Knowing my fear of spiders, he callously made a lack of effort to kill the thing. I ran to it with a shoe and smashed it, but it scurried away. It was a wolf spider, which are pretty big, but this one wasn't too big. I continue my life until a few weeks later I feel a little something on one of my legs. I brush it off, thinking that it was just some hairs shifting on my legs. Same feeling... different leg.... I immediately do a backwards roll out of my bed (ninja-style) right to my light and flip the switch. There he was. On my pillow. This mother fucker. HUGE. I knew it as soon as I seen it: this was the mother fucker that got away. He was massive now. The biggest wolf spider I've ever seen. I quickly grab the nearest item to kill this beast: my jerk off towel at the head of the bed. I stand there, somewhat frightened, holding my crusted out towel above this alien, massive looking creature. I shit you not, this mother fucker leans back on his back four and starts hissing like he's ready for fucking war. I instinctively smash the cunt with my towel, using more force than I've ever used to crush this heartless mother fucker, all while humiliating him with my rotting semen. Fuck a spider.

  1. Dana Wells says:
    To Adam and Vince, big strong guys, stop screaming like little girls!
    To Adam and Vince, big strong guys, stop screaming like little girls!
  2. Adithya Balasubramanian says:
    lololololo
    lololololo
  3. Christopher W Reed says:
    I do feel this is the best use of a *ahem* used towel to date... Best spider-kill ever.
    I do feel this is the best use of a *ahem* used towel to date... Best spider-kill ever.
  4. Serena R. says:
    my way...boyfriend, kill the spider and I'll make you TWO sandwiches...*like a boss*.
    my way...boyfriend, kill the spider and I'll make you TWO sandwiches...*like a boss*.
  5. Steve Norman says:
    cool story bro.
    cool story bro.
  6. Fuko Ibuki says:
    I would quarantine my room and put caution tape all around my door..I'm not getting near this fucker (0_0).
    I would quarantine my room and put caution tape all around my door..I'm not getting near this fucker (0_0).